why hello there, xanga... it's been awhile...

i miss writing. just wondering... if i started writing again, would anyone start reading again? is there an interest out there anymore? i promise to not let anyone down...

let me know. thanks.

mountains and valleys, mountains and valleys...

someday i'll walk the straight and narrow.

so i'm actually having to make some major decisions about my future... it's kinda crazy. i guess at 21 i should expect that, but i really didn't. we probably make a lot more serious decisions than we realize, just in everyday things. the way i walked to class today could have changed my life forever. or maybe not.

i really don't think i have anything that interesting to say today. sorry to disappoint you all. i think i'll do a list...

top five things i'm looking forward to:

1) emily senules is coming to visit me this weekend!
2) thanksgiving with my brother in north carolina
3) studying abroad next summer... hopefully all summer
4) the end of this semester so i can start taking classes that actually count towards my new major
5) i don't know... i think recently i have developed a much more open view on life... so i'm kind of excited to see what happens in general within the next year or so. not having a plan is finally okay with me.

top five things i'm not looking forward to:

1) taking my stupid music test tomorrow. i skipped studying last night and went to see a movie instead.
2) having to study for my stupid music test tonight
3) reading about sixty pages in my stupid music book
4) making a review over my stupid music notes
5) i can't think of anything else. i guess that's a good thing though :)

i'm going to relearn piano if it kills me. i am definitely looking forward to that.

i love austin. every time i visit, it's like a breath of fresh air. i really hope i get the opportunity to live there someday.

on a completely different note... i think i witnessed one of the most horrible things i have ever seen today. beware, what you are about to read is terrifying on multiple levels... prepare yourself.

i went to h.e.b. this afternoon just to pick up a few things, and what did i see as i was rushing throught he express line in the back of the store, you know... over by the photo counter? nothing less than... santa claus. oh my gosh. i almost lost it. okay, so i have a problem with people in costumes, but this was bad. i mean, parents had actually brought their young, innocent, unsuspecting children to get their picture taken on the abomination's lap. it's november 6th!! what ever happened to thanksgiving?! i was caught completely off guard... it was like being stuck in my worst nightmare. the guy at the register was trying to make small talk, and he must have thought i was a nutcase because i was trying to get the hell out of there as fast as i could... and i think i probably told him about three times over the course of two minutes that people in costumes bother me... a lot. i think i had some nervous twitching thrown in, too.

it's 86 degrees outside (definitely not qualifying as christmas season), plus it's freakin' h.e.b... what is santa claus doing in my one last safe haven, the grocery store? i've been preparing myself for the mall all year, i knew that one was coming... i'll have to strategically avoid the freak disguised in red velvet and excessive padding every time i decide to do some shopping from here until january. why oh why... why the grocery store? what have i done to deserve this?

and get this, as i grab my receipt and take one last feaful glance over my shoulder on the way out... he waves at me.

i was in a state of panic all the way home. i'm not kidding. i'll be completely crazy by the time christmas is over.

Currently Listening Absolution By Muse see related

so i have been accused by some as being a "poser" for not updating more often. so sue me.

for one thing... i kind of have fallen out of the idea of putting all my personal information up for public perusal. maybe i just need to start making things more general.

so vegetarianism... friend or foe? i mean don't get me wrong, i think God put animals on this earth, in part, to be eaten. i just think vegetarianism is so much healthier... but then again that's kind of stupid, i mean... people need protein, and not just the plant kind. i think my parents would disown me if i told them i wasn't eating meat anymore. and rightfully so. when you come from a family of ranchers, not eating beef is the ultimate heresy. seriously... i would be burned at the stake. i guess i have the rest of my life to contemplate the pros and cons, that is until i die of heart disease at age 40 from all of that saturated fat.

and...i like soy milk... way better than regular milk. i don't even drink regular milk anymore, i avoid it like the plague. i think i'm becoming lactose intolerant because of it. i will subconsciously condition my body to where vegetarianism is the only way i can survive... well you can still be a vegetarian and drink milk though.

but i'll miss hamburgers...

oh ambivalence, you're my new best friend.